From: Demented Otaku To: Subject: [First MST] Re: [FFML][TO ALL TYBALTERS][A FLAME FOR YOU] Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 10:00 PM What the heck. I need writing and MSTing practice anyway. I'll MST this fool's idiotic public flame. Please C&C my MST, since I want to improve my writing and humor making capabilities. Moronic Stupid Theatre Y2K [In space, a large satellite looms over the planet Earth. It is spherical, dark gray, and has a circular indentation in the upper hemisphere, which has a series of holes around the perimeter. Suddenly, the holes fire green lasers, which meet at a point and coalesce into a ball of energy, before another laser blast using all that energy rushes toward a far away planet, completely destroying it (Which was populated by trolls) . The camera moves into the MST Star, showing four shadowed figures in a gigantic theatre.] First Figure: Allow us to introduce ourselves! Second Figure: To ridicule those with foolish postings! Third Figure: To review all messages that deserve flames and roasting! Fourth Figure: To bring light to fics that deserve to be loved! First Figure:To napalm the trolls from the skies above! [Light bursts into view, revealing the identity of the four.] Figure 1: Dem'Ota! Figure 2: Washuu! Figure 3: Kerrigan! Figure 3: Belldandy! Dem'Ota: Team MSTies! Mocking trolls with heart and passion! Kerrigan: Surrender now, or the Zerg shall punish your actions! Belldandy: Ara! That's not very nice! Dem'Ota: Hi, and welcome to the first episode of MST2K! I am the Jedi, Dem'Ota, avatar of the fanfic author Demented Otaku! Tonight, we'll be reviewing the idiotic post made by a cowardly hypocritical troll! For those who are wondering, Washuu is the TV version, not the OVA version. Washuu: That's right! The author hasn't seen too much of the OVA yet, so you get a regular ol' mad scientist instead of Ryoko's mother! Dem'Ota: Why are you here, Kerrigan? Shouldn't you be directing the Zerg and stuff like that? Kerrigan (smug): I have no need for that now. Upon Earth, I found a tome that allowed me near god-like power! [Kerrigan pulls out a 248 page book with the Starcraft logo and a picture of a Protoss on the cover] Kerrigan: Behold! Although strangely titled, "Starcraft: Prima's Official Strategy Guide" has given me spells that make me unstoppable, such as "show me the money", and "power overwhelming"! Hahahahaha! [Everybody sweatdrops while Kerrigan is laughing.] Belldandy: Let's start before anything else unpleasant is said. Washuu: But this thing is full of unpleasant sayings! Dem'Ota: Then before we say anything unpleasant! Washuu: But we're MSTing it! We have to...oh never mind! Kerrigan: Let's begin! > To Gary (Jackass) Kleppe and ALL the other (Evil) Tybalters on the FFML. > Dem'Ota: Ever heard of (Stone Cold) Steve Austin? Washuu: Even Mihoshi knows that you use quotation marks! Belldandy: Come on. I'm sure there is something intelligent in this letter. Dem'Ota: Not likely. > Gary I have just learned that you and other people have been Tybalt. Dem'Ota: Wow! He *just* learned that? After at least a week? Wow! Washuu: Don't act like Mihoshi around me. I came her to be free of her. Don't make me extract a sample and study those midi-chlorians! [Dem'Ota backs down in fear and pales.] > > I say this to all you Tybalters. > YOU TYBALTERS CAN NOW ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!!! [Belldandy is trying to stay cheerful, but is obviously failing due to the forced smile.] Washuu: Belldandy-san, I think you should just give up on this. There seems to be absolutely no sign of intelligence here anywhere. Belldandy: But there is still hope! I'm sure he is only angry, not hateful. He used lower case letters! That proves his intelligence! Dem'Ota: The ability to use lower case letters does not make you intelligent. > Now that is a load off my chest. I will continue. > > A year ago I sent out a harsh C&C to the FFML about one of your fanfics. It > was NOT a flame. And instead of you replying to me. You (as Tybalt) banned > me from the FFML. GARY (JACKASS) KLEPPE, YOU ARE A EVIL, POMPOUS, > CORRUPTED, POWER ABUSING, SHIT HEADED, POWER MAD, OPPRESSIVE, HYPOCRITICAL, > COWARDLY, EGOTISTICAL, MEGOMANIACAL, TYRANNICAL, ELITIST, SON OF A BITCH, > BASTARD AND AN INSULT TO ALL FANFIC AUTHORS EVERYWHERE!!!! I am beyond > angry with you. I am beyond pissed-off. I am now experiencing berserker > level RAGE!!!! Gary Kleppe, before you say do not the troll. You should > know that I am not a troll. I am a human who is now becoming a Gubbifier. > And you Gary Kleppe are an JACKASS!!!! > Kerrigan: This anger...this determination....he would make an excellent addition to to Swarm... Washuu: Sure, if you want a Zerg that can't do anything more than whine. Kerrigan: Silence! I will not be talked down to! [Washuu whips out a foot long syringe and a nasty looking piece of medical equiptment] Washuu: You want me to wanna piece of you too? [Kerrigan backs down and sits next to Dem'Ota. They both scoot 2 seats away from Washuu.] > If Gary Kleppe and/or the rest of you Tybalters do not reply to my demands > within less than two weeks. I WILL GUBBIFY THE PEOPLE OF THE FFML!!!! I > WILL POST BAD C&C AND BAD MST'S TO THE FFML!!!! I WILL ALSO PRIVATELY SEND > KILLFILES AND FLAMES DIRECTLY TO THE FANFIC AUTHORS WHO ARE ON THE FFML!!!! > [Belldandy is starting to look unhappy] Belldandy: Now, now. Don't make innocent people suffer. Kerrigan: Why do you not see that this fool is not going to care about the writers? Belldandy: He does care, he just...uh..... Dem'Ota: Hey Washuu! Did you ever make an evil clone of Mihoshi? Washuu: No. Mihoshi at least knows computers to an extent. This guy doesn't even know what a killfile is. > You Tybalters have committed many heinous acts and crimes of hypocrisy and > elitism. AND I ALSO DO NOT CARE IF WHITE WOLF REALLY DOES OWN THE > FANFICTION MAILING LIST (FFML)!!!! IN THE PAST AND/OR PRESENT!!!! THAT IS > STILL NO EXCUSE FOR WHITE WOLF AND/OR YOU TYBALT MODERATORS TO TREAT PEOPLE > ON THE FFML LIKE SHIT!!!! The only reason you FFML Elitists hurt people on > the FFML is so that you can inflate your already over sized egos. And I am > going to make sure you are punished for it > Dem'Ota: The Tybalt only ban threads and stuff to keep this ML functioning. Kerrigan: The Tybalt? What is that race like? Is it stong enough to be assimilated into the Swarm? [Washuu gives her a surprised look.] Washuu: No. The Tybalt are gone. [Belldandy starts to show slight anger at the troll.] Belldandy (strict): One who posts messages like this to MLs should be punished! > Also, I know what FFML Elitists are thinking. (This one person can't do > anything to hurt us). I may not be able to hurt all of you. But I'm sure > that while trying, that I can drive over half of the people on the FFML > completely insane. So, it won't be just me that Gubbifies the people on the > FFML. I have some friends of mine are going to help me. > Kerrigan: And I have a few billion friends to help me put an end to idiotic people such as you. Belldandy: Now Kerrigan, matters of justice should be left to the deities. Washuu: Meaning you wanna kill him. Belldandy (shocked): No! Life is precious! Dem'Ota: Fine, but if you want to, here's my lightsaber. [Belldandy snatches it eagerly, then cools down and hands it back] Dem'Ota: Damn. > If after less than two weeks my demands are not met. I will Gubbify the > people of the FFML until my demands are met. When I start Gubbifing the > people of the FFML. I am going to make Gubby look like a saint, when > compared to me. Before you Moderators just dismiss this as a harmless > threat. I am telling you that I AM NOT JOKING ABOUT THIS!!!! I am very > serious about this threat. > Washuu: Ha! Anyone serious about outrageous claims like this is just a weirdo. > Here is the list of ALL my DEMANDS!! > > YOU WILL LIST THE CURRENT INTERNET NAMES AND CURRENT E-MAIL ADDRESSES OF > ALL MODERATORS (both past and present) THAT WERE AND WERE NOT TYBALT. This > includes you (Gary), Alan, Biles and White Wolf. > > You will also included in the list. > > Who banned who. > Who tempbanned who. > Who warned who. > Who put who on probation. > Kerrigan: Who infested who. Washuu: Who experimented on who. Belldandy: Who wished for who. Dem'Ota: Who posted this piece of drivel to who. > That those who banned will publicly and directly apologize to their > victims. > That those who tempbanned will publicly and directly apologize to their > victims. > That those who warned will publicly and directly apologize to their > victims. > That those who put their victims on probation will publicly and directly > apologize to their victims. > Dem'Ota: That those who deserved the banning such as this guy be loaded into a rocket and shot into the center of the sun. Belldandy: That those who post things like this shall be forgiven......No! I take that back! Kerrigan: Finally letting your dark side get out once in a while? Belldandy: No! I don't have a dark side! Washuu: Everybody has some darkness in them. Dem'Ota: Not me! I'm no Sith! I'm 100% on the light side of the force! > A list of ALL the threads that have been banned on the FFML (both past and > present). > Washuu: You gotta admit, that one was actually reasonable. Belldandy: Yes! Let's focus on that! Kerrigan: Come on. Give in to the Dark Side. Belldandy: Fine! I'll just try it here, but I won't be doing this again! Dem'Ota (muttering): Must not give in. Must not give in. Must not give in..... > I want there to be no more permanent banning and no more banning threads > permanently. Also, I want tempbans should only last two months at the most > and I want probation should only last two weeks. > > The Moderators will not abuse their power by threatening people on the FFML > for no reason. They will be striped of being Moderators if and banned from > the FFML is they abuse their power in that way. > Dem'Ota: Which is exaclty what is happening now. > YOU SHOULD ALSO LET PEOPLE POST SPAM ON THE FFML!!!! [Everybody cracks up at this] Dem'Ota: Yeah...hahaha...I can see it now! Extend the length of your lightsabers! Hahaha.... Washuu: Hahahahaha! I got one! How about, create cold fusion energy right in your own sub-atomic particle accellerator...hahaha.... Belldandy: I've got one! Convert to Hasegawa-ism! Worship the person who has the least screen time in all 5 OVAs! Hahaha! > > I want ALL the Moderators that were Tybalt to be BANNED from the FFML for > at least ONE YEAR. And I want for the WORST of the Moderators that were > Tybalt to be banned for at least TWO YEARS, for example: Gary Kleppe. IMHO > (in my humble opinion). Anyone that is cowardly and hypocritical enough not > to moderate under there own Internet and/or real name does NOT deserve to > be on the FFML. > > YOU WILL LIST THE CURRENT INTERNET NAMES AND CURRENT E-MAIL ADDRESSES OF > ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE GUBBY (Guy Under The Bridge). > > YOU WILL LIST THE CURRENT INTERNET NAMES AND CURRENT E-MAIL ADDRESSES OF > ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE BNA'S (Big Name Authors). Belldandy: YOU WILL LIST WHAT YOU SMOKED PRIOR TO THIS FLAME. Dem'Ota: Yeah Belldandy! That's how you MST! > > Of course I think ALL BNA'S (Big Name Authors) should be renamed EDA'S (Ego > Driven Authors). The reason why I who the BNA'S list is so that I don't > accidentally Flame any innocence Lurkers and/or nobody (Fanfic) Authors. Washuu: Look who the real Ego driven one is. Kerrigan: Hey! Washuu: Not you. Him. Dem'Ota: Hey! The Jedi teachings involve learning modesty! Washuu: No! The troll! He thinks he can control a list on 1500+ people! > > ALSO, YOU WILL ROTATE (REPLACE) THE FFML MODERATORS OF THE FFML EVERY TWO > MONTHS WITH NEW PEOPLE!!!! > Dem'Ota: Like we don't know what rotate means. > You will post ALL of this publicly to the FFML. > Also, you will post ALL of this on the FFML Homepage. > And you will update ALL of this every two months to the FFML and the FFML > Homepage. If you do not do ALL of this. I will Gubbify the people on the > FFML. > > To the current Moderators of the FFML. Do NOT try to find out who I am by > back tracking this e-mail account's IP address. Because this is NOT my home > IP address. I am visiting relatives in other US State right now. And I > travel all over the country a lot, so it might be a problem for you, when > you start tying to permanently ban me from the FFML. So unless you banned > ALL of North America. I'm going to be with you for a while. > Washuu: Right. We've got a hypocrite here. > One thing's for sure. I got some guts for doing this. The reason why I do > not give my real name in this post is because I don't have a deathwish. And > also I want you Tybalters to have a little taste of your own medicine. By > not knowing who I am. You cannot flame me. You cannot ban me. You cannot > hurt me. You cannot kill me. CHEW ON THAT FOR A WHILE!!!! YOU EVIL > TYBALTERS!!!! > [Belldandy finally snaps] Belldandy: WELL SCREW YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [The others stare wide eyed in shock...] > And before you Moderators think about banning me from the FFML. You should > know that once I sent this e-mail to the FFML, I then unsubscribed myself > from the FFML. This type of Fanfic Flame is called a Hit & Run Flame. You > should have guessed by now that this e-mail account is a throw away e-mail > account. So, once I am finished posting this message to the FFML, I am > planning to quit using this e-mail address all together. If you reply to me > by sending a private reply to this e-mail address. I will not receive the > private reply. If you want to get in touch with me. You will have to send > your reply directly to the FFML. I am always lurking around the FFML as > someone or another. Also, I should tell now that I love to read SPAM on the > FFML. Unless the spam is by a BNA (Big Name Author). I hate that type of > spam. > Kerrigan: What a fool! He does not realize he is being discriminatory. Washuu (muttering): Now we've got another hypocrite. > MODERATORS, THE FFML IS NOW ON PROBATION FOR CRIMES OF ELITISM AND > HYPOCRISY!! THE CLOCK IS COUNTING DOWN!! WHAT ARE YOU EVIL TYBALTERS GOING > TO DO ABOUT IT?? > Dem'ota: There is no more Tybalt. Belldandy: The FFMLers though, will killfile you every time you make a post like this. > And just to prove that I am not like Gubby. I will tell you that in my > opinion, Richard Lawson is a true genius and the GREATEST fanfic author in > HISTORY!!!! > Kerrigan: One difference does not mean much. > To the rest of the (Non Elitist) Members of the FFML. > > Now that I have calmed down a little. I think you should know that I really > DO NOT want to Gubbify the FFML. Also, I do not have a problem Moderators > on the FFML. I believe the FFML needs Moderators. But, I do have a problem > when cowardly, and hypocritical Moderators hide behind a mask (in this > case, Tybalt) when they moderate. I think that is wrong and should be > punished. I do like the new moderating system on the FFML. And I think Alan > and Biles should be complimented on their bravery at what they are doing > and I respect them for that. I hope this new moderating system works out. > Its just that I am so tried of seeing all the hypocrisy and elitism that is > going on in the world today. I have finally decided to do something about > evils of hypocrisy and elitism in the world. And I guess the FFML is one of > the best places to start. You people may think I have finally gone > completely insane. But I don't care what you people think anymore. I am > going to try to save the world from t! Dem'Ota: T!? No! Not t! Kerrigan: No! T! will crush you in your attempts! Belldandy: T! is the source of all evil in this world! Washuu: So in other words, we don't give a damn about t! > he evils of hypocrisy and elitism in the world. Even if I have to destroy > all of the people in the world to do it. So, do not call my bluff. Please, > just give into my demands. BECAUSE I AM NOT BLUFFING!!!! I WILL GUBBIFY THE > PEOPLE OF THE FFML IF MY DEMANDS ARE NOT MET!!!! > Washuu: Now we've got a terrorist here. > Lurkers of the FFML and/or the Internet, I call upon you all to join me in > my Crusade to completely cleanse the FFML and later the world of hypocrisy > and elitism. And it is very easy to help. All you have to do is start > Flaming Fanfics by BNA's (Big Name Authors). And if your bold enough, start > posting those Flames to the FFML. BUT IF YOU DO DECIDE TO POST FLAMES TO > THE FFML MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT USE YOUR NAME AND IP ADDRESS THAT IS ON THE > ISP (INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER) THAT YOU USE!!!! IF YOU DO WHAT I JUST > STATED ABOVE THE MODERATORS OF THE FFML CANNOT HURT YOU!!!! > Belldandy: You are nothing more than a hypocrite. The lurkers are here to read fanfiction, and the well written ones are usually written by the BNAs, since they have more experience. > Anonymous Victim. > The Crusader Seeking Truth, Justice & The Pursuit Of Happiness For ALL > Lurkers Of The FFML. > Kerrigan: What a foolish title. Dem'Ota: Queen of Blades isn't a very good title either. Washuu: I think the best title is "Greatest Scientific Mind in the Universe"! Hahahahaha! Dem'Ota and Kerrigan: Shut up! [Washuu jams the 2 foot long syringes into Kerrigan and Dem'Ota and extracts samples. Moments later, they fall to the ground twitching.] > > Get Free Email, Anime News, and The Best Prices at http://AnimeNation.com > > > Dem'Ota: You don't tell me what to do! I'll get those things if I want to! Belldandy: Dem'Ota! This is the sig! He didn't even write this! Dem'Ota: Fine. Any people, this is the end of the first episode of MST Y2K. C&C if possible please, because the author would really like to do better MSTs and make better jokes! Bye! Belldandy: See you next time! Washuu: I'll be watching for more fics to MST! Kerrigan: I will see you again when I come to ravage your planet, or when we do another MST. Everyone: Bye!