I found this interesting piece of news while looking up stuff about Pokemon. After some thought, I decided to MST it. Moronic Stupid Theatre Y2K Episode 2: The Poke Menace [The MST Star is shown floating in space. It gathers up lightning like a Death Star shot, and fires it at a planet populated enitrely by hypocrites, zealots, and narrow minded people. The camera closes in on the MST Star, and we see the inside. Suddenly, a light shines, and four figures can be seen. The Rocket Gang BGM starts playing] Figure 1: Allow us to introduce ourselves! To protect the- urk! Figure 3: I'm not saying that again! [Figure 3 has jammed a syringe into figure 1. Figure 1 falls to the ground twitching. Light falls on the four beings. We see that figure 1 is Dem'Ota and figure 3 is Washuu. Belldandy and Kerrigan are off to the side.] Washuu: Since Dem'Ota is temporarily unable to do proper introductions, I will be opening today's episode. In case you don't remember who we are, I am the Tenchi Universe Washuu. The moronic Jedi I have just taken a sample from is Dem'Ota, the self-made character of fanfic author Demented Otaku. Belldandy is already familiar to everbody, being one of the main characters of Aa! Megami-sama!, Ah! My Goddess!, or Oh! My Goddess!, depending on your personal opinion. Kerrigan is probably the least recognizable of us, not counting baka boy. She comes from the hit computer game, Starcraft, and is the leader of an entire species of hostile aliens known as the Zerg. Belldandy: I would like to ask all of you to take the time to try a response. Last time, we only got two replies. [Dem'Ota recovers and gets up.] Dem'Ota: That's right! Only two replies for three hours of work dedicated to bringing you guys enjoyment! It was a first effort too! To make sure that we get more replies, Kerrigan has devised a contest as a reward for you people if we get enough replies! [Kerrigan is dressed up like Vanna and is standing in front of a stage with the curtains drawn.] Kerrigan: That's right! Behind these curtains is a group of twelve Lurkers (The Zerg species, not the author), possibly the most feared members of the entire Zerg Swarm! Not counting me of course. For every reply that we get, we will remove one Lurker! Tomorrow evening, we'll send the creatures still left to extend a personal greeting to all of you! [She pulls a cord and the stage opens to reveal twelve snarling, vicious killers.] Belldandy: But for now, let's ignore that and begin! > http://www.denverpost.com/news/news0814a.htm > > Pastor calls Pokemon 'poison' > By Erin Emery > Denver Post Southern Colorado Bureau > > Aug. 14 - COLORADO SPRINGS - A minister used a blowtorch and a sword during > a church service this week to drive home his belief that Pokemon games and > toys are only sugar-coated instruments of the occult and evil. > Dem'Ota: Right. Evil beings say things like "Myuu! Myuu! Myuu!", and "Priiiiii! Toge! Toge!". Washuu: You may be right with the "Toge! Toge!" part. > At a church service Wednesday at Grace Fellowship Church, children's pastor > Mark Juvera told 85 children ages 6 through 12 that Pokemon is evil. > Belldandy: So this is the troll on the AGNP. (Author's note: For those not on the AGNP, there is a troll that is constantly ranting about how playing Pokemon will get you sent to Hell.) Kerrigan: Somebody that religous could only be a Protoss. Dem'Ota: Not true. Terrans can be as dangerously obsessive about religon as any Protoss. > To make his point, Juvera burned Pokemon trading cards with a blowtorch and > struck a plastic Pokemon action figure with a 30-inch sword. Juvera's > 9-year-old son then tore the limbs and head off a Pokemon doll. > > During the demonstration, the children chanted: "Burn it. Burn it,'' and > "Chop it up. Chop it up.'' > Washuu: Lemme get this straight. A guy, in order to show that Pokemon are evil and that he is holy, burns trading cards, slices a toy in half, and made his son tear the limbs off a doll, while other children shout "Burn it! and "Chop it up!"? Belldandy: He must be corrupted. No true holy person would force others to commit acts of violence, even in the name of Kami-sama. Dem'Ota: By the way Bell-san, have you heard what Demented Otaku is going to have you do in his fic? > Manufacturers of the hugely popular Pokemon products, including Nintendo and > Hasbro Inc., said they've never heard of Pokemon being associated with the > occult. > Kerrigan: Of course not! That was merely an invention of that corrupted church! > And the national Christian Coalition told The Denver Post on Friday that it > will stay out of the fray over Pokemon. > > "We won't weigh in on it at all,'' said Chris Freund, a spokesman for the > national Christian Coalition based in Virginia. "It's a church issue and not > a policy issue. We've never heard about it.'' > Dem'Ota: We've found him! The last person on Earth who has never heard of Pokemon! Washuu: He must be studied! No sentient being I know of can possibly live under a rock for so long! He's a rare one! > Beth Llewelyn, spokeswoman for the Redmond, Wash.-based Nintendo, said the > company had never heard of anything like this before. > > "We've only heard good things, very ... positive things about Pokemon,'' > Llewelyn said. "We get volumes and volumes of letters from parents and kids > about how wonderful they think Pokemon is. They say, "My kids are now > reading because they want to read all they can about Pokemon.' It's a > universally positive experience.'' > Belldandy: Of course ^_^! Pokemon will act as a gateway to get younger kids to watch anime when they get older and become otaku! > Holly Ingram, a spokeswoman for Hasbro Inc., said Pokemon - one of the most > popular toy crazes this year - has been favorably received by parents and > children. > > "For us, it's been a completely positive response from parents and kids. > Everything we've done with Pokemon has been positive. I really can't imagine > how somebody would feel that way about it,'' Ingram said. > Dem'Ota: Simple. Some guy who's obsessed with power decides to test his influence by declaring something as evil, and if it's declared in church, everyone will believe it. Washuu: Not everyone. Just people without common sense. Like you. Dem'Ota: And 99% of Earth's population. Belldandy: Why do they call it common sense if it's so rare? > Pokemon, (pronounced POH-kaymahn), is short for pocket monsters. The > pop-culture phenomenon began in Japan as a cartridge for Nintendo, Game Boy > and Nintendo 64 and quickly spread to America. Its popularity fueled the > debut of the Pokemon animated television series. Hasbro has a line of toys > and merchandise for kid collectors and a third company, Wizards of the > Coast, based in Seattle, sells Pokemon trading cards. This fall, a Pokemon > movie will hit movie theatres across the country. > Kerrigan: Tell us something we don't know. Dem'Ota: Hey! They didn't call it a cartoon! They said animated television series! Score one point for the otaku! > "The whole idea behind Pokemon is to become a "master trainer,' '' Ingram > said. "Kids look for different Pokemon characters, find them and use > strategy and tactics to capture them in a very mildmannered way. It's not > very violent at all. They collect them, and when they've collected all of > them, they become a Pokemon master.'' > Dem'Ota: It's really a matter of opinion. I say, if you're a master, you have 151 Pokemon at level 100 that never lose a fight. Washuu: But not everyone is as simple as you. > At Grace Fellowship Church, pastors learned of the occult angle after > receiving an e-mail of an Internet essay written by a California woman. The > essay says Pokemon encourages role-playing that elevates children over God > to the position of master and that the games and toys are laced with dark > references. > Belldandy: No, I don't think I've ever heard of the Pokemonicon. Washuu: Dark references only appear if you look for them. Why I have a feeling that that pastor and that woman are both from USA Today? Dem'Ota: Alway two there are. A master, and an apprentice Dem'Ota: > Mark Cowart, pastor of the 1,500-member, nondenominational church, said the > essay confirmed his suspicions about Pokemon. While driving with his kids, > he heard them in the back seat talking about "Abra'' and "Cadabra,'' and "my > antenna went up,'' Cowart said. > Kerrigan: That's KAdabra. Belldandy: They aren't even magic words. They're just names. Washuu: Interesting. His "antenna" went up when he heard little kids talking. One has to wonder what this guy is really like if he enjoys destroying harmless toys in sadistic fashions. Pervo. Dem'Ota: Echhi hidden meanings only appears if you search for them. Washuu: Don't talk back to me! [She jams a syringe into him again to extract even more midi-chlorians.] Washuu: At this rate, I'll be able to know everything there is to know about them in a matter of months! > Cowart said one of his concerns is that one of the Pokeman characters > sprouts horns. Another concern, he said, is that children exploring a > Pokemon Web site can click to other games, including "Magic: the > Gathering,'' a game similar to Dungeons and Dragons. > Dem'Ota: Sprouts horns? What Pokemon does that? Belldandy: Anybody that knows anything about Pokemon knows that the official translator for the card game also created Magic: The Gathering. Magic isn't evil either. Demons are just a fact of life, not something to shelter kids from. Kerrigan: Censorship and accusations are terrible things. Dem'Ota: Said the evil alien lady who accused a guy of being a renegade and slaughtered him before he could say anything that went against her. Kerrigan: Shut up, or I'll send the Ultralisks after you. > "It's got sugar coating on it, but, underneath, it's poison,'' Cowart said. > > Focus on the Family, the Colorado Springs-based Christian organization whose > messages reach as many as 5 million people weekly via radio broadcasts, has > not researched Pokemon, said Julie Able, project coordinator the Youth Culture > Department. > > Cowart said the church used the sword and blowtorch to get its message > across to kids because "we live in a sight-and-sound generation. A little > church is competing against Hollywood with multibillion budgets.'' > Belldandy: There's nothing to compete against there. Pokemon doesn't come from Hollywood. Dem'Ota: I'm surprised he didn't go for a bonfire! > He said kids are used to visual messages, and if you give them a linear > message, they'll be bored. > > Cowart said the sword was used in the demonstration because the Bible says > that the "way you come down against the powers of darkness is with the sword > of the spirit. We don't do things just for the sake of being sensational > like the World Federation of Wrestling.'' > > Belldandy: The sword of the spirit is symbolic, not literal. Kerrigan: Yet another way that the bible is reinterpreted to justify wrongdoing. > Copyright 1999 The Denver Post. All rights reserved. This material may not > be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. > > > Dem'Ota: Shut up! I don't care if I redistribute it or not! That article was crap! [Just when Washuu is about to extract more midi-chlorians, a large insectoid spike pops up out of the ground and goes back in.] Dem'Ota: Uh oh! [More spikes start rising and falling.] Washuu: Run! The Lurkers escaped! [They run in fear as more spikes start ripping up the ground, except for Belldandy, who hovers above the range of the spikes.] Dem'Ota: We'll see you guys tomorrow when we MST the article about the dark references! Bye! Aiiieee!