Gah! Lurker pointed out to me that comething weird happened to my MST and it got cut off! I am reposting it, completed. Tacked onto the end is an extra bonus scene I meant to include in part 2, but decided not to for some reason. Okay people, since you liked the last one, I decided to write this one up early. I found this piece of tabloid trash at http://www.crossroad.to/text/articles/pokemon5-99.html Enjoy! Final Fan MSTing III (VI in Japan) (Anybody want to help with titles for the next MSTs? The first ended with Y2K instead of 3K, and the second was "Episode 2: The Poke Menace. I'm running out of title jokes.) [The MST Star's victim of the episode happens to be a planet occupied by people who still think games are occult. The planet explodes as justice is served. We see Washuu, Kerrigan, Belldandy, and Dem'Ota in the dark theatre once again, only this time, Dem'Ota has a black eye and an arm cast. The theatre is under repairs due to the damage caused by Lurkers.] Dem'Ota: You didn't need to do that just because I thought up the idea for the Lurkers, you know. Washuu: Shut up! We nearly got ripped apart because of your stupid idea! Kerrigan: We were only saved because I had the sense to bring reinforcements in case the Lurkers went berserk again! Dem'Ota: But I helped to beat them! Washuu: You still came up with the idea! Let's get to work. Belldandy: Today, we're MSTing an article created by yet another religous zealot. I say, religon is good, but if you start inspiring hate, intolerance and hypocritical actions, that's when you've gone too far. > > > The Dangers of Role-Playing Games > How POKEMON and Magic Cards > Affect the Minds and Values of Children > by Berit Kjos > For pictures of the Pokemon world, click here: http://www.pokemon.com/ > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- > ---- > > "Who are the strange little creatures from Japan that have suddenly become > global super-stars? Most kids know the answer well: They are called Pokemon > (short for POCKEt MONster and pronounced Pokeymon), and they have stirred up > some mixed reactions. > Dem'Ota: Baka! Can't anybody who isn't a fan pronounce it right? Kerrigan: Save the attitude for when it's necessary. > "We just sent a letter home today saying Pokemon cards are no longer allowed > on campus," said Paula Williams, a second-grade teacher in Danville, > California. "The kids know they're supposed to be put away when they come in > from recess, but they're often in the middle of a trade, so they don't come > in on time. In the more extreme cases, the older kids are getting little > kids to trade away valuable cards . . . . It drives a teacher crazy." > Belldandy: People are greedy. It's not Pokemon that's making them do bad things. Washuu: What does this have to do with anything? Are they going to bash the show for the cards, or something like that? Strange how nobody ever seems to go after the original game. > It concerns parents even more. "Recently, my children were given a set of > Pokemon cards," said DiAnna Brannan, a Seattle mom. "They are very popular > with the children at our church and elsewhere. I was instantly suspicious > but couldn't discern the problem. We have since been told that they are > stepping stones to the 'Magic cards' that have been popular for the last few > years, which we do not allow." > Kerrigan: A stepping stone? With Pokemon around, who needs Magic? These kids want what is popular. Dem'Ota: Magic only used to be popular, ending at the point where they released fifth edition. > She is right. For instance, any child exploring the most popular Pokemon > websites will be linked to a selection of occult games such as Sailor > Moon, Star Wars, and others more overtly evil. A click on the ad for "Magic: > the Gathering" brings Pokemon fans to a site offering promotions such as > this: > Belldandy: Occult? How is Sailor Moon occult? It doesn't deal with anything religous at all, not counting the whole thing with the Messiah and the crosses and the Holy Grail. Dem'Ota: And those aren't even in the DiC version yet. How is Star Wars occult? The whole thing with the Force? That's not religon! > "A global games phenomenon, Magic: The Gathering is to the 1990s what > Dungeons and Dragons was to the 1980s, but with the added dimension of > collectibility. Here is the official reference to the biggest new teen/young > adult fantasy game of the decade, complete with full-color reproductions of > every existing Magic card." > Washuu: Off topic! What does that have to do with Pokemon? > THE POKEMON MESSAGE. The above websites gives us glimpse of the mysterious > little creatures called Pokemon. Ponder the suggestions in this greeting: > > "Welcome to the world of Pokemon, a special place where people just like you > train to become the number-one Pokemon Master in the World!" > > "But what is a Pokemon, you ask. 'Pokemon are incredible creatures that > share the world with humans,' says Professor Oak, the leading authority on > these monster. 'There are currently 150 documented species of Pokemon. . . . > Each Pokemon has its own special fighting abilities. . . . Some grow, or > evolve, into even more powerful creatures.. . . Carry your pokemon with you, > and you're ready for anything! You've got the power in your hands, so use > it!'" > > What if children try to follow this advice? What if they carry their > favorite monsters like magical charms or fetishes in their pockets, trusting > them to bring power in times of need? > Belldandy: Children are innocent, but they know fantasy from reality. A child that does that is only playing make believe. Kerrigan: Or has mental problems. Washuu: Like baka boy over here. Dem'Ota: Hey! > Many do. It makes sense to those who watch the television show. In a recent > episode, Ash, the boy hero, had just captured his fifth little Pokemon. But > that wasn't good enough, said his mentor. He must catch lots more if he > wants to be a Pokemon master. And the more he catches and trains, the more > power he will have for future battles. > > So Ash sets out again in search for more of the reclusive, power-filled, > little Pokemon. His first step is to find the "psychic Pokemon" called > Kadabra and snatch it from its telepathic, pink-eyed trainer, Sabrina. With > the ghost Haunter on his side, it should be a cinch! > Dem'Ota: Steal Pokemon? That's stupid! That's not what happened! Washuu: The number one sign of intolerance is not researching the material to the point of understanding it. > But Ash had underestimated the power of his opponent. When he and Sabrina > meet for the battle, both hurl their chosen Pokemon into the air, but only > Kadabra evolves into a super-monster with a magic flash. Haunter hides. > "Looks like your ghost Pokemon got spooked," taunts Sabrina. > > Obviously, Ash didn't understand the supernatural powers he had confronted. > Neither do most young Pokeman fans today. Unless they know God and His > warnings, they cannot understand the forces that have captivated children > around the world. And if parents underestimate the psychological strategies > behind its seductive mass marketing ploys, they are likely to dismiss the > Pokemon craze as harmless fun and innocent fantasy. In reality, the problem > is far more complex. > Kerrigan: Yes. The real problem is people like you who think that Nazis aren't anywhere near as harmful as Pokemon. Belldandy: Right! When the Nazis kill people in the name of God, it's okay, but if a few Pokemon knock out other Pokemon in competition, it's evil. More examples of how sadly corrupt this world has become. > MARKETING A NEW LIFESTYLE > > The Pokemon mania supports a financial conglomerate that knows how to feed > the frenzy. The television series is free, but it drives the multi-billion > dollar business. It also inspires the obsessive new games that disrupt > schools and families by giving the children -- > Dem'Ota: Or rather, the game inspires the anime. Belldandy: Which inspires toys. Washuu: And inspires a version of the game based on the anime. Kerrigan: Which inspires people to love it even more. > a seductive vision: to become Pokemon masters Dem'Ota: How is that seductive? It is merely a challenge. > a tempting promise: supernatural power Washuu: Any idiot knows that the Pokemon have the power, not the trainers. Even baka boy. [Dem'Ota decides not to risk getting another blood withdrawal and sulks instead.] > a new objective: keep collecting Pokemon Dem'Ota: How is that a new objective? That's part of being a master! > an urgent command: "gotta catch them all" Belldandy: It's called a "Slogan"! Companies have been using them for years. Will anybody accuse Washington Mutual of being occult because they say "We'll make a fan out of you!"? Baka zealots... Kerrigan: My thoughts exactly. > These enticements are drilled into young minds through clever ads, snappy > slogans, and the "Pokeman rap" at the end of each TV episode: > > "I will travel across the land > Searching far and wide > Each Pokeman to understand > The power that's inside. > Gotta catch them all!" > Kerrigan: That's the opening song, not the Pokerap! Dem'Ota: And what's Pokeman? Washuu: Yeah! Is that the same thing as Pokeyman, Pokeymon, Pokuhmon, Gigamon, and Pac-Man? [Author's note: I have honestly heard people call Pokemon all of those things before. The amount of stupid people in this world is alarming.] > The last line, the Pokemon mantra, fuels the craving for more occult cards, > games, toys, gadgets, and comic books. There's no end to the supply, for > where the Pokemon world ends, there beckons an ever-growing empire of new, > more thrilling, occult, and violent products. Each can transport the child > into a fantasy world that eventually seems far more normal and exciting than > the real world. Here, evil looks good and good is dismissed as boring. > Family, relationships, and responsibilities diminish in the wake of the > social and media pressures to master the powers unleashed by the massive > global entertainment industry. > Belldandy: Occult? Violent? Evil is good? [Everybody bursts out laughing.] Washuu: Has this loser *seen* the evil in Pokemon? Musashi and Kojiro are dumber than our resident Jedi. Dem'Ota: Stop it! [Washuu waves the syringe menacingly. Dem'Ota backs down.] > No wonder children caught up in the Pokemon craze beg for more games and > gadgets. The Japanese makers count on it. Since the means often justify the > economic ends in the entertainment industry, the Pokemon website is full of > tips, explanations, and ads that encourage the urge to splurge - and to > express the darker side of human nature. Ponder their influence: > > "You can catch a Mew by cheating with a Gameshark." > > Ahhh. The Gameshark. . . Cheating is not honorable. But many of you have > requested and sent me this information, so I have put it up for all you > cheaters." > Dem'Ota: He isn't encouraging cheating. Most likely, he's being barraged by requests constantly, and this is the most likely way to shut them up. > "The Moon Stone evolves certain Pokemon, such as Clefairy." > Belldandy: Evolution doesn't necessarily mean that it's evil. Kerrigan: I don't see anybody criticizing Starcraft, and that has evolution and even more stuff that could be considered evil. When a human gets hit hard enough there, they explode into a shower of blood and a large red stain of body parts is the only thing left. Dem'Ota: If a human gets hit hard enough in Pokemon, they get sent flying into the atmosphere with a scream of "Yara Kanji!!!!!" [Author's note: Yara Kanji is the original phrase that the Rocket gang says instead of that "Blasting off again!" thing. Loosely translated, it means "It's that feeling again!".] > "Select your desired attack. Hold down the button until your opponent's life > stops draining." > > "Once you have captured Zapados, you can use it to quickly lower the health > level of Articuno. . . ." > [Washuu rolls her eyes.] Washuu: Well duh! You have to fight. A game that doesn't let you fight would suck, unless it was like Parappa or Tetris. > "Super Smash Brothers. . . . This unique fighting game features all of > Nintendo's biggest stars in a bruising brawl-fest . . . ." > Belldandy: It only has 19 of them, only two of which are playable. It isn't even a Pokemon game! It's irrelevant, as is every single other argument here! > While children delight in these mysterious realms, concerned parents worry > and wonder. What kinds of beliefs and values does the Pokemon world and its > links teach? Why the emphasis on evolution, supernatural power, and > poisoning your opponent? > Dem'Ota: The emphasis isn't on that, baka. It's on friendship, responsibility, and tests of skill. > CHANGING BELIEFS and VALUES > > Barbara Whitehorse started seeking answers after her son asked a typical > question: "Mom, can I get Pokemon cards? A lot of my friends from church > have them." Much as she wanted Matthew to have fun with his friends, she > gave a loving refusal. Matthew's tutor had already warned her that the > Pokemon craze could stir interest in other kinds of occult role-playing > games such as Dungeons and Dragons. At the time, she wondered if the tutor > had just over-reacted to some harmless entertainment. After all, the cute > little Pokemon creatures looked nothing like the dark demonic creatures of > D&D. But when she learned that a local Christian school had banned them > because of their link to the occult, she changed her mind. > Kerrigan: Figures. You get anything declared evil in church, and it's shunned. It doesn't have an occult link! It's all in your head! > Later, during a recent party for Matthew, Barbara heard two of the boys > discussing their little pocket monsters. One said, "I'll just use my psychic > powers." Already, the world of fantasy had colored his real world. So when > some of the kids wanted to watch the afternoon Pokemon cartoon on > television, Barb again had to say "no." It's not easy to be parents these > days. > Belldandy: You can't have a discussion about Pokemon without mentioning some kind of element. Don't take things out of context before judging. > Cecile DiNozzi would agree. Back in 1995, her son's elementary school had > found a new, exciting way to teach math. The Pound Ridge Elementary school > was using Magic: the Gathering, the role-playing game called which, like > Dungeons and Dragons, has built a cult following among people of all ages > across the country. > > Mrs. DiNozzi refused to let her son participate in the "Magic club." But a > classmate gave him one of the magic cards, which he showed his mother. It > was called "Soul exchange" and pictured spirits rising from graves. Like all > the other cards in this ghastly game, it offered a morbid instruction: > "Sacrifice a white creature." > Dem'Ota: It's just a game term! It's only a game! They battle through creatures and spells, not directly! Jeez, of all the.... > "What does 'summon' mean?" he asked his mother after school one day. > > "Summon? Why do you ask?" > > He told her that during recess on the playground the children would "summon" > the forces on the cards they collect by raising sticks into the air and > saying, "'Spirits enter me.' They call it 'being possessed.'" > Washuu: Kids like to pretend. What does this have to do with Pokemon anyway? > Strange as it may sound to American ears, demonic possession is no longer > confined to distant lands. Today, government schools from coast to coast are > teaching students the skills once reserved for the tribal witchdoctor or > shaman in distant lands. Children everywhere are learning the pagan formulas > for invoking "angelic" or demonic spirits through multicultural education, > popular books, movies, and television. It's not surprising that deadly > explosions of untamed violence suddenly erupt from "normal" teens across our > land. > > Occult role-playing games teach the same dangerous lessons. They also add a > sense of personal power and authority through personal identification with > godlike superheroes. Though the demonic realm hasn't changed, today's > technology, media, and multicultural climate makes it easier to access, and > harder than ever to resist its appeal. > Belldandy: So you're advocating cultural intolerance? Kerrigan: That attitude created a situation where an egotistical German caused the deaths of countless people. Dem'Ota: Heil Asuka! [Washuu hits him with a large mallet.] Dem'Ota: Pretty stars.... > ROLE-PLAY AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ADDICTION > > The televised Pokemon show brings suggestions and images that set the stage > for the next steps of entanglement. It beckons the young spectator to enter > the manipulative realm of role-play, where fantasy simulates reality, and th > e buyer becomes a slave to their programmer. > Belldandy: Slave? That's completely off. > Remember, in the realm of popular role-playing games - whether it's Pokemon, > Magic the Gathering, or other selections -- the child becomes the master. As > in contemporary witchcraft, he or she wields the power. Their arm, mind, or > power-symbol (the pokemon or other action figure) become the channel for the > spiritual forces. Children from Christian homes may have learned to say, > "Thy will be done," but in the role-playing world, this prayer is twisted > into "My will be done!" God, parents, and pastors no longer fit into the > picture fantasized by the child. > Dem'Ota: Baka. Washuu: Children know the difference between fantasy and reality! If a kid makes his pet evolve into a large dragon and has it Hyper Beam a teacher into oblivion, then I'll be worried. Until then, Pokemon is perfectly healthy. > Psychologists have warned that role-playing can cause the participant to > actually experience, emotionally, the role being played. Again, "the child > becomes the master." Or so it seems to the player. > Belldandy: By that logic, chess would be the most vile, demonic, and occult game in the universe. Having pawns do your bidding, having complete control over royalty, forcing innocent bishiops to kill... Where does it end? Where does it end?! > Actually, the programmer who writes the rules is the master. And when the > game includes occultism and violence, the child-hero is trained to use "his" > or "her" spiritual power to kill, poison, evolve, and destroy -- over and > over. Not only does this repetitive practice blur the line between reality > and fantasy, it also sears the conscience and causes the player to devalue > life. The child learns to accept unthinkable behavior as "normal" . > Kerrigan: Pokemon don't die. They faint. Nothing is ever destroyed at all, except for a few bushes. Kids know what's real and what isn't! Corrupt people are dumb. Dumber than baka boy. Dem'Ota: Now you're doing it too? Jeez! > To be a winner within this system, the committed player must know and follow > the rules of the game. Obedience becomes a reflex, strengthened by instant > rewards or positive reinforcement. The rules and rewards force the child to > develop new habits and patterned responses to certain stimuli. Day after > day, this powerful psychological process manipulates the child's thoughts, > feelings, and actions, until his or her personality changes and, as many > parents confirm, interest in ordinary family life begins to wither away. > Belldandy: If intrest in family life withers away, it's because parents don't care for their children enough. > You may have recognized those preceding terms as those often used by > behavioral psychologists. They point to a sophisticated system of operant > conditioning or behavior modification. The child must exercise his own > intelligent mind to learn the complex rules. But after learning the rules, > the programmed stimuli produce conditioned responses in the player. These > responses become increasingly automatic, a reflex action. Naturally, this > can leads to psychological addiction, a craving for ever greater (and more > expensive) thrills and darker forces. > Washuu: I hate to be so rude, but your amateur psychology sucks. It has no logic, and enourages intolerance. > WHAT CAN PARENTS DO? > > It's hard to teach restraint to children who are begging for gratification. > Wanting to please rather than overreact, we flinch at the thought of being > called censors once again. Parental authority simply doesn't fit the > fast-spreading new views of social equality taught through the media and > schools. Yet, we must obey God. He has told us to train our children to > choose His way (Proverbs 22:6), and we can't turn back now. > Dem'Ota: Pokemon doesn't necessarily exclude that. It isn't evil. > If you share my concerns, you may want to follow these suggestions. They > will help you equip your child with the awareness needed to resist occult > entertainment: > > 1. First, look at God's view of contemporary toys, games and cartoons. As a > family, read Scriptures such as Ephesians 5:8-16, 6:10-18 (the armor of > God); Philippians 4:8-9; and Colossians 2:9. Compare them with the values > encouraged by Pokemon and other role-playing games. > Belldandy: That won't get you anywhere. RPGs are entertainment. Nobody goes to them to learn values. > 2. Share your observations. Spark awareness in a young child with comments > such as, "That monster looks mean!" or "That creature reminds me of a > dragon," along with "Did you know that in the Bible, serpents and dragons > always represent Satan and evil?" > Washuu: Children always pick the cutest ones. They don't go for Pokemon like Strike and Gyarados. They go for Pikachu and Mew. > 3. To teach young children a Biblical attitude toward evil before they learn > to delight in gross, ugly characters, make comments such as, "Who would want > to play with that evil monster? I don't even like to look at him. Let's find > something that makes us feel happy inside." > Kerrigan: Shut up! You're beginning to sound like Barney. Why not break into song for no apparent reason while you're at it? > 4. Model wise decision-making. Tell your child why you wouldn't want to buy > certain things for yourself. > Dem'Ota: This is the first logical sentence in this entire piece of crap I've seen! > When your child wants a questionable game or toy, ask questions that are > prayerfully adapted to your child's age, such as: > > 1. What does this game teach you (about power, about magic, about God, about > yourself)? Discuss both obvious and subtle messages. > Kerrigan: Another logical one! This might take the right direction after all! > 2. Does it have anything to do with supernatural power? If so, what is the > source of that power? Does it oppose or agree with God's Word? > Belldandy: This one blows it. It's just encouraging intolerance now. > 3. What does it teach about violence or immorality and their consequences? > Washuu: Now it's encouraging stupidity. Research the material, baka. > 4. Does the game or toy have symbols or characteristics that link it to New > Age or occult powers? > Dem'Ota: I can honestly say that I have never seen a pentagram anywhere in Pokemon, or a cross for that matter, not counting the red ones at the hospitals and Pokemon Centers. > 5. Does it build godly character? > Kerrigan: The power is with the Pokemon, not the people! Pokemon teaches that friendship is the only super power you need! > In a nation consumed with self-indulgence, self-fulfillment, and > self-empowerment, godly self-denial seems strangely out of place. But God > commanded it, and Jesus demonstrated it. Dare we refuse to acknowledge it? > According to the age of your child, discuss Jesus' words in Matthew > 16:24-26, then allow the Holy Spirit to direct your application. > > Far more than earthly parents, God wants His children to be content and full > of joy. But He knows better than to give us all the things we want. Instead, > He gave us His word as a standard for what brings genuine peace and > happiness. The apostle Paul summarized it well: > > "Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are > just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things > are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything > praiseworthy - let your mind dwell on these things." (Philippians 4:7-8) > Belldandy: Yes, but what does this have to do with Pokemon. It seems like you're trying to hide something. > After hearing God's warning and praying for His wisdom, nine-year-old Alan > Brannan decided to throw away all his Pokemon cards. "My friend did the > same," said his mother. "Her twelve year old son had been having nightmares. > But after a discussion with his parents about the game and its symbols, he > was convicted to burn his cards and return his Gameboy game. That night > slept well for the first time in a month." > Dem'Ota: Well duh! You've been putting weird images of Pikachu sacrificing baby Kentauros to Satan in his head! No wonder the poor kid has nightmares! > "It seemed to us that these cards had some sort of power," continued DiAnna > Brannan. "Another nine-year-boy had stolen money from his mother's purse > ($7.00) to buy more cards. When questioned, he confessed and said he had > heard the devil urging him to do it. The family quickly gathered in prayer, > then saw God's answer. Both the boy and his little sister burned their > cards, warned their friends, and discovered the joy and freedom that only > comes from following their Shepherd. > Belldandy: Children will lie to get out of trouble. Sadly, this parent is too obsessed with religon to see reality. Religon is good, but don't go in too deeply! There are many other aspects of life! Washuu: Common sense, for example. Dem'Ota: Well, that's the end of this MST! Remember, reply or we'll do that thing with the Lurkers agai... [Dem'Ota falls to the ground. Washuu is holding a syringe filled with more midi-chlorians.] Washuu: Baka... Belldandy: Kerrigan, don't let him get near any of your Lurkers, okay? Kerrigan: I won't. I'm not letting him anywhere near any of my troops. IT'S BONUS TIME! [Washuu, Kerrigan, Belldandy, and Dem'Ota are trying to outrun the last Lurker. They run down a hall, which leads to a door. Dem'Ota opens it.] Dem'Ota: A closet? Why is there a clost in the MST Star? Washuu: Pay attention to what's important! [Dem'Ota turns around. The final Lurker has them trapped. It lunges at Dem'Ota with a roar. He quickly jumps to the side. It lands in the closet. He quickly slams the closet door shut, whips out a key, and locks it. Kerrigan is glaring at him.] Kerrigan: You can't lock a Lurker in a closet! They're too smart! [The door is shown with the key still in the lock. A newspaper slides partway under it from the Lurker side. The door is thumped a few times. The key falls onto the newspaper. The newspaper is then pulled under the door along with the key. The lock shakes a little, and the Lurker bursts out madder than before.] Dem'Ota: You may have us, but you'll never have the MST Star! [The Lurker whips out a pipe, lights it, and begins speaking with a British accent.] Lurker: I beg to differ. You see, the other Lurkers and I have constructed a crude suspension bridge to Venezuela. Once there, I will lie low and assume odd jobs under the name Mr. Pilkington, but perhaps I've said too much. [It takes a few more puffs from it's pipe, then starts coughing and wheezing, before it falls to the ground, dead from the nicotine and tobacco poisoning. Everybody sweatdrops.] Belldandy: Well that was certainly anti-climactic.