From: Demented Otaku To: Subject: [FFML] [MST] I'll give you 150 guesses as to what I'm MSTing this time Date: Sunday, October 03, 1999 8:27 PM Yup! You guessed it right! There has been yet another complete retard who wrote up an article bashing Pokemon! Unlike the others, however, the idiot isn't saying Pokemon is occult. Instead, this moron is insisting that Pokemon is a big scam, and as further proof to his utter lack of a brain, he posted it on alt.games.nintendo.pokemon, where there would probably be the *least* number of Pokemon haters. Oh, and send lots of replies!Anyway, this spoony bard is gonna be MSTed right here, right now. Mwehehehehehehehehe....... [The vast darkness of space. The absolute power and grace of the MST Star. The beam of destruction that brings justice to planets of idiots. None of which will be seen today, since the MST Star is closed for renovations. Instead, we see our MSTers sitting on a couch on their lazy butts watching the idiot post on TV instead of a giant theater because the repair bills caused by the combined might of Washuu's experimentation, Kerrigan's military obsession, and Dem'Ota's lack of common sense when deciding the appropriate time to turn on his lightsaber and start waving it around.] Dem'Ota: Welcome to the cheapo version of Demented Otaku's MST theater. The main differences are that instead of row after row of seats, we just have this old couch, and instead of a gigantic movie quality screen, we have a six inch black and white TV with mono sound. Don't worry though! It's still good! [The camera view widens, and we can see everyone is holding a can of cola, except for Belldandy. If you haven't read much on the AMG manga, Belldandy gets drunk on cola. No people, no cans for her. Instead, she's gripping a few 2 liter bottles of Jolt cola rather tightly, occasionally chugging a bottle down.] Washuu: *punches Dem'Ota* I told you not to put some in her tea! Dem'Ota:Ow! I didn't know she'd keep asking for so much! Kerrigan: Come on, Belldandy. I think you've had enough now. Belldandy: *hic* Noooo.....I'lll tell you when I've haaad enuuuuffff! *picks up another 2 liter bottle, and tosses the one she just finished into a 10 foot tall pile of empty bottles* Dem'Ota: I really think that fifteen bottles of cola is enough for you. Belldandy: Shaddup! *throws a bolt at Dem'Ota (which misses by at least 20 feet), then belches loudly* [Everyone sweatdrops] Dem'Ota: Aaaaaanyway, let's start talking about the MST. Washuu: Right! You see, this one moron posted a mini-essay talking about how Pokemon was supposed to be evil to alt.games.nintendo.pokemon, where it obviously wouldn't be welcome. Since that sort of behavior is usually prominent in trolls, he will be MSTed as such. Kerrigan: Meaning, we'll be making all sorts of personal attacks and mocking him mercilessly. Dem'Ota: Yup! Let's get started! Washuu: I haven't had an idiot to analyze in quite some time! Belldandy: yeaaahhh..........nuke dem morons, > From: > Subject: Why Pokemon IS evil... > Date: Thursday, September 30, 1999 11:15 AM > > Why Pokemon IS Evil... Dem'Ota: Or rather, "My Big Moronic Essay That Has Absolutely No Logic In It" > > Pokemon, the latest mass-marketed obsession peddled to children. > Kerrigan: True, it's been mass-marketed, but remember this: Things do well if people like them. Dem'Ota: Since almost *everybody* just absolutely *loves* Pokemon, it's currently doing very well. Washuu: In fact, Pokemon was the main reason why Nintendo's profits hit a six year high recently. Belldady: not hihg! Im not high! Jes dukrn. [Everyone sweatdrops] > It's not evil because of "demons" and "hidden messages" and other > religious imbecility. Pokemon is evil because it's about indenturing Belldandy: wait a sec. relguois imbeliciyt? i r not one imbecly, u *hic* ah, ne'ermind. Hey! dem! gimme ano'er botle! [Dem'Ota gives her another bottle of cola, then is quickly pounded by Washuu and Kerrigan for not learning from his mistakes] Dem'Ota: Ow! > children, and their parents, to an elitist, imagination-numbing, mania- > generating scam. > Washuu: Scam? A scam is some sort of scheme designed to swindle people out of people while they get nothing or something really crappy. Kerrigan: There's absolutely no scam. A scam would be buying a Sailor Moon CD, then hearing Moon Densetsu played by a triangle, and accordian, and a kazoo. Dem'Ota: No, that would be just strange. > Numerous school districts and individual schools have wisely prohibited > trading Pokemon merchandise on their campuses to prevent the fighting > and other discipline-eroding behavior directly related to the scam. > Dem'Ota: They prohibited cards. And to prevent older kids from cheating younger ones out of valuble cards. I doubt that Pokemon cards will cause "fighting and other discipline-eroding behavior". A lot of my friends collect Pokemon cards, and they're some of the best people I know! Washuu: The only objects that will actually *cause* you to do weird stuff are drugs, beer, etc. Belldandy: ooh! Looky de pretty lights..... Dem'Ota: And for some people, cola. > Children need to have their imaginations cultivated, for in the > infinite diversity of today's children's minds comes the dynamic > progress of our future. Pokemon is yet another conformist, money- > making scam deadening the unknowable depths of the human imagination. Washuu: See all those websites that make up fake Pokemon? That's using imagination! Dem'Ota: See all the diversity in types of Pokemon? That's not conformism! Kerrigan: See all those Pokemon ripoffs? *That's* what all these accusations should really be pointed at! Belldandy: *goes to sleep* > Instead of cultivating the endless possibilities of individualism, > Pokemon, like its predecessors and contemporaries, too, reins in the > innocence and purity of children into a linear, two-dimensional realm, Dem'Ota: There's plenty of stressing the importance of the indivudual! There was that one episode where Fushigidane didn't want to evolve! Washuu: You, Troll, have failed to give even one supporting detail to any of your arguments! > with the sole goal of enslavement of mind towards the quest of "gotta > buy 'em all." Pokemon reinforces the statification of society in its > inherent materialism: more money equals more Pokemon cards equals more > prestige in young social circles. The affluent become popular; the not > so fortunate lose sense of self in their inability to afford to > purchase dignity and popularity. > Kerrigan: Hey, why don't you write up an article saying that every single material object is evil! That's what the single supporting detail in this entire article seems to say! Washuu: Kids are smart. They know that dignity comes from within, not from cards. You're being one absolute moron! > Pokemon is not merely about "cute," adventurous "pocket monsters." > It's about using you. It's about using children. Behind the funny > faces, the real "special power" is the ability to compel you to > conform. If it weren't for the "cuteness" of the scam, would any > parent participate in the multi-billion dollar exploitation of their > children? > Dem'Ota: *rolls eyes* Again with the conformity idiocy! Do you have any other details to support your poorly thought out statements? > Free yourself. Free your children. > Kerrigan: Free your brain. Washuu: People aren't slaves to Pokemon, and thus cannot be freed. If you did any research, you'd know that Pokemon are the pets of humans! Dem'Ota: Free your Pocket Monster! [Washuu jams a syringe into Dem'Ota. Kerrigan punches him. Belldandy mumbles at him. He falls to the floor, completely out of it.] > -- Milton John Kleim, Jr. > Sacramento County, California, USA > DOB: 1/27/71, i.e., not a clueless old fart > Washuu: There are so many things we could say about that, that it's really tough to just choose one. Dem'Ota: Not a clueless old fart? He's definitely at least a clueless fart. Kerrigan: That's enough. Let's let the readers come up with stuff for now. > - > > http://www.efn.org/~mjk/ > Kerrigan: Visited the page. Quite frankly, I don't care about your personal life. By writing this article, then posting it to a Pokemon newsgroup, you have made yourself a complete troll! > > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ > Before you buy. > Dem'Ota: Buy what? It's official! This guy's a clueless old fart! Washuu: I think we've had enough of this moron. Dem'Ota: Damn, this show ain't no good. *shoots the 6 inch black and white mono TV* Kerrigan: You shot the TV! Now how are we gonna MST?! Dem'Ota: Oops! Kerigan and Washuu: DIE! [Dem'Ota gets beaten up, while Belldandy is still sleeping] Dem'Ota: Come on! Next episode, the MST Star should be fixed! Ow! Washuu: See you guys next time! Until then, I'll be causing injury to baka boy! Ja ne! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ "Watashi wa dare da? Koko wa doko nan da?"- Mewtwo "......"- Darth Maul "Ruuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" -Evangelion Unit 1 ICQ me at 35921209 AIM me as Dem Ota 99 E-mail me at Zznnchen@email.msn.com You wanna see my fanfiction? Go to: http://dem-ota.tripod.com/demota.html Anime fans shall assimilate all! Demented Otaku: Anime fan, spamfic writer, Boondocks fan, and Akane supporter. Bow before the almighty whale cheese!