The Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask / Tell > Goons with Spoons > The Pickle Sandwich
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Stako
Mar 03, 2003

One evening i had the extreme munchies, and low and behold, nearly no food in the house. However, i did discover i had a few things.

Sandwich sliced pickles or wedge pickles
A few slices of Turkey breast
A few slices of bread
A slice of cheese
And Salt and Pepper

I'm looking over what i've got, and decided to wrap the pickles in the turkey breast. Before wraping, add desired amount of salt and pepper. After wraping in turkey breast, then wrap in cheese. If dealing with Sliced sandwich pickles, cut the bread to make sure pickles can fit... If dealing with Wedge pickles, just fold the bread and treat it like a hot dog. You can even add ketchup or mayo... pretty good. Thought of using these as a appetizer or something. One is a light snack, two with chips make a good meal.

Oct 04, 2005: 01:52
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Accipiter
Jan 24, 2004


Pop it, D-Man!
That's not a pickle sandwich. When dealing with sandwiches, a condiment simply cannot be the main ingredient of a sandwich when other, more dominant ingredients are present. (Turkey, Cheese, etc.) The sandwich ingredient hierarchy goes:

1. Primary Ingredient (Usually some kind of meat)
2. Primary Ingredient Augmentation (Cheeses, etc.)
3. Solid Condiments (pickles, tomatoes, kraut, etc.)
4. Liquid Condiments (Ketchup, Mustard, misc. Sauces)
5. Seasoning (Salt/Pepper, misc. Spices)

As you remove ingredients, the topmost ingredient is the basis for your sandwich. Therefore, if you have a Ham and Cheese sandwich, and you remove the ham, you have a cheese sandwich. Conversely, if you remove the cheese, you have a ham sandwich. It doesn't matter either way if you remove the mayonnaise, since you have ingredients that are higher up the chain still present. With or without mayonnaise, it's still a ham and cheese sandwich.

You made a modified turkey and cheese sandwich.

Stako posted:

low and behold

Jesus Christ.

Oct 04, 2005: 14:42
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Mack the Knife
Feb 08, 2004


would you like to buy a monkey?
You should make a pickledog, like at the Minnesota State Fair.
1 slice ham
sour cream
1 pickle
1 stick

slather ham with sour cream, wrap around pickle. Stab with stick.
Eat.
CAN YOU DIG IT?

Oct 04, 2005: 16:32
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jhflif
May 11, 2005


huzzah!

Accipiter posted:

That's not a pickle sandwich. When dealing with sandwiches, a condiment simply cannot be the main ingredient of a sandwich when other, more dominant ingredients are present. (Turkey, Cheese, etc.) The sandwich ingredient hierarchy goes:

1. Primary Ingredient (Usually some kind of meat)
2. Primary Ingredient Augmentation (Cheeses, etc.)
3. Solid Condiments (pickles, tomatoes, kraut, etc.)
4. Liquid Condiments (Ketchup, Mustard, misc. Sauces)
5. Seasoning (Salt/Pepper, misc. Spices)

As you remove ingredients, the topmost ingredient is the basis for your sandwich. Therefore, if you have a Ham and Cheese sandwich, and you remove the ham, you have a cheese sandwich. Conversely, if you remove the cheese, you have a ham sandwich. It doesn't matter either way if you remove the mayonnaise, since you have ingredients that are higher up the chain still present. With or without mayonnaise, it's still a ham and cheese sandwich.

You made a modified turkey and cheese sandwich.


Jesus Christ.

Wow, I'm glad there's a sandwich expert here! Where did you get your degree and was it a bachelors or masters?

Oct 05, 2005: 00:46
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Accipiter
Jan 24, 2004


Pop it, D-Man!

jhflif posted:

Wow, I'm glad there's a sandwich expert here! Where did you get your degree and was it a bachelors or masters?

I'll have you know I hold a doctorate in sandwichology, smartass.

Oct 05, 2005: 02:52
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Stako
Mar 03, 2003

I'd have to disagree with that. When using only ONE slice of turkey and cheese.. it makes the pickle the dominate ingredient by taste.

Oct 05, 2005: 03:01
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Accipiter
Jan 24, 2004


Pop it, D-Man!

Stako posted:

I'd have to disagree with that. When using only ONE slice of turkey and cheese.. it makes the pickle the dominate ingredient by taste.

If you're making a ham and cheese sandwich and your top pops off the mustard while you're squeezing the bottle dropping a huge glob of mustard on the sandwich, the sandwich does not magically change from a ham and cheese sandwich to a mustard sandwich. It becomes a ham and cheese sandwich with far too much mustard.

Oct 05, 2005: 03:13
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tc2000
Nov 15, 2004


one cool dude
I'm not disagreeing with that hierarchy, but did you just make that up or is that what Subway taught you or what?

Oct 05, 2005: 03:47
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shakerpenguin
Apr 21, 2005

Dood, accipiter. You know I love your asshole nature and all, but it's just a damn sandwich. Leave the little goons alone, my friend.

however, drama on a sammich thread is loltastic.

Oct 05, 2005: 03:59
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Accipiter
Jan 24, 2004


Pop it, D-Man!

tc2000 posted:

I'm not disagreeing with that hierarchy, but did you just make that up or is that what Subway taught you or what?

Years of enjoying sandwiches taught me this. I created the aforementioned hierarchy, but its previous lack of documentation doesn't make it any less valid.

I've never worked for Subway.

Oct 05, 2005: 11:13
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tc2000
Nov 15, 2004


one cool dude
Well you better attach your name to that before someone else does, then publish it!
Just imagine the prestige of having something named after you: Victoria Falls, Pike's Peak, Newton's Laws.....Accipiter's Universal Law of Sandwich Nomenclature. Sounds cool eh?

Oct 05, 2005: 19:23
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lafemmemikita
Jun 07, 2004

bouncy bouncy bouncy

shakerpenguin posted:


however, drama on a sammich thread is loltastic.

Quite RIGHT! I'm having an utterly FUCKoff kind of day/week and stopped by to dream of some good food and found this entertaining pickle sammich thread drama.

I really thought all you had to eat was a jar of pickles, the heel of a loaf a bread and some other strange things, but no- you had some turkey and cheese- that does NOT a pickle sammich make. I mean I happen to like an inordinate amount of tomato slices on my sammichs, to the point that tomatoes are the majority ingredient on my sammich, but that does not a tomato sammich make.

so lets take your pickles, my tomatoes, the heel of a loaf bread that no one wants to eat, squeeze out the last blob of mustard, sprinkle with some salt and pepper and have ourselves a little FUCKoff™ treat.

Oct 05, 2005: 20:43
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Stako
Mar 03, 2003

Overall... Whatever.

On a side note, i'm in agreement with tc2000... get it published Accipiter.

Oct 05, 2005: 22:17
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NOT PAUL LAYTON
Nov 27, 2004

Biscuit Hammer bought me this account because I wouldn't stop crying.

Accipiter posted:

Years of enjoying sandwiches taught me this. I created the aforementioned hierarchy, but its previous lack of documentation doesn't make it any less valid.

I've never worked for Subway.

Pickles have a MUCH stronger flavor than turkey, and they can be sliced thicker.

Though the meat in this sandwich is kind of useless.

Oct 05, 2005: 23:41
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Liberty_MI
Jun 07, 2002


You can protect yourself from Radioactive Fallout... get the facts! From your Civil Defense Director.
Cream Cheese and Cappacola are good with nice dill pickle..

Oct 06, 2005: 00:34
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IrishWolfMan
Apr 21, 2002


PARTYHAR
I know this is weird, but the peanut butter and pickle sandwich is tasty. Oscar the Grouch knew what he was talking about.

Oct 06, 2005: 05:38
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