Hey everyone! This is just a crazy idea I just got. X-Com fans, don't worry about my X-Com thread. You'll
see what I mean later in this update...
In the meantime, let's get ready to play ...
Here's the GameTap home page. I don't know why they aren't showing, but on the bottom, there are supposed
to be three big flattish circles titled My GameTap, Game Vault, and GameTap TV. Also, while writing this
update, I just noticed the featured game in the center there. I swear I did not put that in, and as far as
I know, there's no way to put a game in there. :psyduck:
I think GameTap is trying to tell me something. :tinfoil:
Just for kicks, let's check out GameTap TV. Here, you can see for some reason that the circles are now visible
again. I decide to take a look at Space Ghost, because I've heard good things about it.
Here's the title character!
And here's Billy Mitchell, who apparently completed 256 levels and scored every point possible in Pac-Man. :V
And here's some violence out of nowhere for reasons I don't understand. The interview doesn't really seem to
make any sort of sense at all.
So let's just finish up with Space Ghost with a manly little pose here.
GameTap TV's also got other things like interviews with Steve Wozniak. Too bad GameTap doesn't actually work
on Macintoshes yet, so there goes 90% of the people who might be willing to listen to what he has to say.
Okay, let's move onto the main bulk of GameTap, the Game Vault. We've got a few self-explanatory headers up
there near the top. Let's take a look at Search.
Starts us off right here, hovering over some game called Ganryu. We can search, or... what's this? Just to the
left of the search bar. It's enchanting. So warm and button-like. I don't think I can resist. I give into the
will of the spiral, and I SPIN THE WHEEL!
I click it, the wheel spins, clacking all the while, and it ends up on...
Uplink. Huh. Not something I would have picked myself, but if the WHEEL wills it, what
choice do I have?
I click on Start, play for a bit, taking screencaps all the while, then realize that FRAPS isn't taking them.
Some extra testing shows that it's unique to Uplink as far as I can tell.
I give up, and return to the vault. Why would it fail? I haven't done anything to upset the WHEEL, have I? Maybe the WHEEL
will be merciful and grant me a second chance to please it. One more spin of the WHEEL later, and...
Legendary Wings? What the heck is this? What have you brought before me, O WHEEL?:confused:
Wait, what? Capcom made this game? Weird, I'd never heard of it, but I admit I don't know much about what goes
on in Capcom outside of their big franchises aside from their occasional Xbox360 title. I don't know a thing
about this game other than what's there in the Overview. Let's take a look at the instructions.
Okay, I guess it wasn't as hard as I was thinking. :shobon: It's just a platformer or a shooter, but at
varying times. It doesn't blend the two genres together so you end up playing something like both
simultaneously. I'm kinda dissapointed because that'd be really cool and weird, but I guess this can still
A quick peek at the Bonus Material reveals that in the original version of this game, the protagonist was a
female, but in most of the American copies of this game, the characters were replaced with men. I can't
imagine why. :psyduck: Also, that this game was made by the same people who made Ghouls and Ghosts.
And it shows. A flashing Game Over before I even press start. Jesus Christ. Even Arthur at least lived long
enough to load stage one.
I insert a coin by pressing start, and off we go!
It starts us off by quickly panning over the whole stage. I guess to give us a short preview of what we're
going to be facing. I have to admit that's kinda clever.
I see that my protagonist appears to be a flying girl(?) instead of a traditional ship, instantly giving me
horrifying soul-crushing flashbacks to another game series like that.
Thankfully, that's the only thing they have in common. I just move left, right, up, and down, firing red
bullets at weird little... things for some reason. Those stone heads look kinda creepy, but they don't attack
you. So far, not unlike any other vertical scrolling shooter I've played.
It eats me. :smith:
I guess I'm in its belly now. Welcome to the other part of the game, where it's just a weird sort of
platformer. You can walk from side to side.
You can jump just like Sir Arthur, inducing an involuntary fear-filled reaction. Oh, and you fight Dragon
unicorn butterfly slug things that spits fireballs. Why can't there be more video game enemies like that these
I can still shoot stuff when I'm in here
But now I can climb ladders! :haw:
Unfortunately, my fireball-dodging skills are terrible in these close quarters and I die until I'm at Game Over.
After this, the game sends me back to the very beginning of the vertical shmup section. I give it a few more
tries, but between having next to no space to dodge fireballs and the demoralizing Arthur-like jumping, I'm
unable to get to the boss of the first level.